“ I bow with my knees kissing the welcome note at your door step

They think I’m crazy, but they don’t know you’re all I have.

You can try a thousand times to read me

but all you’ll learn about me is that I’m nothing but molecules and dust

I tried so hard to shield my heart from those trying to break it.

Making your heart my heart’s fortress

Hoping every man I find would lift some weight off my soul.

I’m 18 dressed in the ways of a woman of 31

I’m not a living sculpture of Michelangelo’s work

Yes I’ve got beauty, yes I’ve got curves

Maybe that’s something that got into my head just a little

You tell me I’ve got mental retardation when I go any length;

but like the analysis of variance; you know me within and between

You know I can’t stop myself from falling.

You know I’ve shared moments with pain as an acquaintance.

You know every cell and vein in me will fight for it’s perseverance.

We see life like a controversy of who could remain the purest,

I signed up for the contest but choose to be the messiest.

If I wake up to a note at my bedside tomorrow with the most commonly used word in my vocabulary,

You can guess what it is; ‘I’m sorry’

I’ve learnt that Fidelity is not of the flesh, but of the heart, mind, and soul.

I’ve been hurt, I mean really hurt, but I can’t help but make excuses for those who treat me with abhorent distastes.

I’m sorry; once again I apologize

Believing it was my actions and words that provoked such anger and response;

I beg for forgiveness

For as summer dances from flower to flower

My lips would be locked with the sound of my heart begging for forgiveness;

Despite the interlocking holes of anxiety and excitement in my stomach. ”

Artwork: IG- risfloat

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